I found out what a “nog” is. It’s a strong ale, which the original eggnog of England used to contain. Rum, cheaper and more readily available than ale, became the “nog” with the colonization of North America. Eggnog is certainly one of the enduring flavors of winter holiday gastronomy. I have had a good many eggnogs from cartons and bottles over the years, and even some I have spiked with a splash of bourbon or whiskey. I have a warning though: While this recipe is labor and time intensive, you will never settle for cartoned eggnog again after making it from scratch.

Separate 6 eggs (the yolks from the whites, you cotton-headed ninnymuggins. Don’t just put 6 eggs in different places about the house). In a big bowl, beat the yolks, adding a 1/2 cup of sugar as you go. You don’t have to beat the crap out of the yolks. To the yolks and sugar, stir in 1 quart of whole milk, 1 pint of heavy cream, 4 ounces bourbon, 4 1/2 ounces dark rum, and about a teaspoon or so of nutmeg. Put that on the chill. Right before serving, whip the egg whites while adding another 1/2 cup of sugar. You’re not making meringue here, just beat the whites until fluffy and white. Then fold the whites into the big bowl with the rest of the ingredients. I stirred it well until there weren’t any puffs of egg white left and the  whole is pretty incorporated into a creamy goodness. Ladle into mugs or goblets or cupped hands and top with a little dusting of nutmeg.

It is unbelievably delicious. After tasting it, an incredulous Urch stirred the bowl pensively and said “That’s cool.” Not only is this drink one of the top successes of this project, it is easily one of the greatest triumphs of my culinary career. This is up there with my paella and my chili.

Urch watches me whip the whites.

Happy holidays everyone.